Relationships are hard and adult breakups are even worse, but there is nothing more therapeutic than music to help you get through a breakup. We all find that one song that resonates with us. Mine happens to be “Brand New Me” by Alicia Keys. I’ve had it downloaded forever, but never found it to be very relatable until I heard it today on my shuffle playlist.

I recently went through an “adult” breakup, which basically means not one person is more to blame, but more so a realization that two individuals aren’t a great fit for the commitment of marriage. The past two weeks have been a struggle coping with all the ups and downs, but it’s part of the process. There are no specific rules outlined for break-ups, but there should be. All you have is your character to rely on to help guide you in making the right decisions, and more importantly, your choice of words.

We all slip up and have our moments, but we move forward and cut off the intentional negativity. When alone, it’s hard not to only think about just the good times, I think that’s only natural. But I’m thankful I can still hold onto these memories without the emotion of wanting more. I think our souls have an innate ability to judge whether or not a relationship has gone unhealthy -but what we do about it- is what matters most.

Do we allow ourselves to settle due to comfort? Or do we rise and have faith that life can be better alone? I prayed for guidance and trusted that what will be, will be. I know time heals all wounds, and every day continues to be better than the last. At the end of the day, nothing beats having less anxiety and more freedom. As Tony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” When both people stop working to make a relationship better, there is no quality left, only resentment. So it’s best to move on to a happier place where your soul can be at peace. (Shop the look at the bottom of the post.)
Until next time, always be kind.
Erica xx

LYRICS to “Brand New Me” by Alicia Keys
It’s been a while, I’m not who I was before
You look surprised, your words don’t burn me anymore
Been meaning to tell you, but I guess it’s clear to see
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me
Can’t be bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Careful with your ego, he’s the one that we should blame
Had to grab my heart back
God know something had to change
I thought that you’d be happy
I found the one thing I need, why you mad
It’s just the brand new kind of me

It took a long long time to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
It took one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, don’t be surprised

if I talk a little louder
If I speak up when you’re wrong
If I walk a little taller
I’d been under you too long
If you noticed that I’m different
Don’t take it personally
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me
And it ain’t bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave brave girl to try
I’ve taken one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, oh see you look surprised

Hey, if you were a friend, you want to get to know me again
If you were worth a while
You’d be happy to see me smile
I’m not expecting sorry
I’m too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah

I don’t need your opinion
I’m not waiting for your okay
I’ll never be perfect, but at least now I’m brave
Now, my heart is open
And I can finally breathe
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of free
That ain’t bad, I found a brand new kind of me
Don’t be mad, it’s just a brand new time for me

ALL IMAGES: RICHARD CRANK