When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I would have difficult decisions ahead of me. What I didn’t fully understand was how much those decisions would extend beyond treatment itself. I would also have to decide what I wanted my body to look like after a mastectomy and, more importantly, what I wanted my life to look like after cancer.
Choosing not to reconstruct wasn’t a decision I made because I believed reconstruction was wrong. It was a decision I made because, after learning about my options, I realized what felt right for me. For me, that meant going flat.
I Wanted to Heal and Move Forward
I wanted to heal and move forward. I didn’t want to spend my recovery going through additional procedures to recreate breasts that I knew were not going to feel 100% a part of me. After everything my body had already been through, I wanted to give myself the space to heal without feeling like I needed to immediately recreate what I had lost.
That doesn’t mean reconstruction isn’t the right choice for other women. It simply wasn’t the choice that felt right for me.
I also realized that looking whole and feeling whole were two very different things. For me, healing wasn’t about recreating what I had lost. It was about finding peace with the body that remained.
My Health and Longevity Became My Priority
I was not a candidate for DIEP reconstruction, and I also had concerns about living with breast implants. Breast implants are not lifetime devices and can involve complications, additional surgeries, rupture, capsular contracture, and pain. Knowing that I could potentially face additional procedures in the future was something I had to consider carefully.
My health and longevity became my priority. I wanted to make choices that supported the life I wanted to live and the years I hope to have with my son. I started thinking beyond the immediate decision and asking myself what I wanted my life to look like years from now.
For me, that meant focusing less on recreating my previous body and more on healing, living, and being present for the people I love.
I Realized I Didn’t Need to Recreate What I Had Lost to Feel Whole
Breast cancer also changed the way I thought about my body. I began to understand that my body is the vessel through which I experience this life. It is part of my story, but it doesn’t define who I am.
Our bodies change throughout our lives. We age, experience motherhood, go through illness, heal, and move through different seasons. Sometimes those changes are chosen, and sometimes they aren’t. But none of those changes make us less of who we are.
I didn’t need to recreate what I had lost to feel whole again.
Going Flat Became a Choice, Not a Loss
As I researched my options, I began learning about aesthetic flat closure and listening to the experiences of other women who had chosen going flat after mastectomy. The more I learned, the more I realized that flat closure could allow me to move forward in a way that felt authentic to me.
Going flat became a choice, not simply a loss.
That distinction was important for me. I wasn’t choosing flat because I believed women shouldn’t reconstruct. I was choosing it because I realized I didn’t need mound reconstruction in order to feel comfortable in my body or to feel like myself.
There Is No One Right Choice
This isn’t about telling women what they should choose. Mound reconstruction is a valid choice. Aesthetic Flat Closure is also a valid option. There are different types of reconstruction and other options available depending on each woman’s individual circumstances.
What matters is that women have the opportunity to understand their options, ask questions, learn about the potential benefits and risks, and consider what each choice could mean for their lives.
That’s what informed choice means to me. Having the information and freedom to choose for yourself instead of choosing based on what society says you should want.
And to any woman who has just been diagnosed, I would encourage you to slow down when you can. Ask questions. Seek out multiple perspectives. Learn about all of your appropriate surgical options before making a decision. You don’t have to make the same choice someone else made, and you don’t have to choose based on what you think you’re supposed to want.
Your body is yours. Your priorities are yours. Your definition of feeling whole is yours.
This is your body, your life, and your choice.
Until next time.
Always be kind, x
Erica
