When it comes down to relationships, what role does age really play a part? Well, I have to conclude from my own personal experience, that age does matter. My last relationship was with a man 16 years my senior, and needless to say, it didn’t work out. I think when you decide to date someone outside the 10 year age gap the relationship is vulnerable to generational differences. At most times, this generational gap occurs when dating someone at least 12+ years older or younger. The lack of same experiences, especially domestically and socially, when growing into adulthood can cause conflict. How do you fix something that’s not relatable?
My last relationship fell apart due to these reasons. He didn’t understand my passion for blogging and more or less viewed it as time taken away from him. No matter how hard I would try to make time for all things, he couldn’t understand why “posting” was a priority of mine. Our age differences created a barrier. He lacked the experience of growing up while social media was evolving, therefore, he could never understand the power behind it and my time spent trying to grow a blog. Obviously, this caused tensions and enough resentment to where the relationship ultimately became too unhealthy.
Dating with an age gap can be tricky. It’s a lot harder to date someone in their early 20’s when you’re in your early 30’s because there is so much still evolving in your 20’s. Granted, maturity has everything to do with it, and if you find someone emotionally mature at that age it could probably work, but during your 20’s you’re just starting to understand yourself and where you are headed. Hell, I didn’t get things figured out until 30, but there are those rare breeds that know their path right out of college and understand life far beyond their age. However, in general, most of us have no clue what we truly want out of a relationship in our 20’s, and most of this is due to lack of having enough relationship experiences to learn what we like and dislike.
Now, compare it to an age gap couple dating where one is in their 30’s and the other in their 40’s, then it’s more likely to be successful. Both people have experienced enough hardships to learn what truly makes them happy. And nowadays, people don’t settle anymore, society as a whole is changing the perception of what a traditional family looks like. During this time, I think people are more driven by careers, especially women, which makes it harder for a man to find a woman that still has that “old housewife” mentality.
Let’s face it, women catering to the male in a relationship is a thing of the past. The only catering done these days is out of love, not as a “role”. There are still many women who are the breadwinners of their houses but still are not given the respect that would be given if the roles were reversed. (Sad, but true.) I think ideally we all want the perfect relationship, but what is that? Finding your best friend and building a life together? Yes. But in today’s world where age is nothing but a number, the benefit of having a wiser partner takes away some of the life building struggles.
A younger person enjoys the stability of what an older counterpart has to offer, whether its experiences or money, there’s an added value to dating older. Men who date really young girls that are 20 years younger than them do it for control and eight times out of 10 the girl is playing along only for the money. Women who date younger men do so because they are financially stable and want a more adventurous relationship. The complete opposite of a where going out to eat is the highlight of your partnership or so-called “date night”.
I say to each their own. Enjoy life and only allow people into your life that make you happy. All of us have different definitions of happiness, so choose wisely and only allow someone into your life that creates that inner feeling of warmth, joy, and butterflies. Whatever that may be for you, allow it. And never date someone who doesn’t add value to your life. Knowing your worth is an invaluable concept and you should always know what you’re willing to tolerate vs. not. Don’t put up with shit that dulls your personality or makes you unhappy, life is too short for that shit. Until next time.
Always be kind.
Erica xx
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