In a world where there are constant changes to algorithms and expectations for the next update, where do relationships fall into place? 

We are currently experiencing a time in history where everyone is accessible, where opportunities are endless and the need to focus on your own happiness is first at bay. There are no traditional roles anymore, it’s a free for all momentum when it comes to who can claim to be the head of the household these days.  

I believe in change.

I actually quite thrive off of it, because there is no growth without change. We are living in an era where literally everything is changing toward a more progressive way of life. We are rapidly learning more ways to become healthier, live longer and placing a higher importance on our own happiness. You must truly put yourself first in all things in order to flourish in life. One cannot give love unless they are happy with themselves first.

Some may not agree, and that’s completely okay. All of us have priorities that we must attend to, but just make sure to find time for yourself. Personally, I find myself at a place in life where I put less emphasis on having a significant other because I am at peace with learning more about myself and experiencing more growth from within. However, I do see this to be more of a recurring trend in modern relationships.

Progressive relationships come to fruition when two people care for each other but are both equally driven by their careers and enjoy living life on their own terms.

I see more long distance relationships now more than ever. It’s a relationship where two people don’t spend all of their time together and the time away from each other gives each person time to pursue other things that evolve in their life. Time apart allows for progression in their careers, on the job front and in themselves as a human being. And the time together they spend is more cherished than ever by the two of them.

When I was younger I used to be that person who would project all of my time, my ambitions, my dreams into a single person. Thankfully, I am much wiser now and can question that behavior– which by no means do I believe to be healthy for anyone. I like to blame past paradigms engrained in us from past paradigms placed on our parents of a picture-perfect, white picket fence family living happily ever.

Too many of us have made the fatal mistake of marrying at a young age, myself included.

I look back and think WTH was I thinking? Even though I was pregnant, I really had no clue who I was or what I was even after in life at a young age of 24. However, I am definitely not speaking for all here. There are plenty of people who get lucky and find that right person early on in life- and kudos to the couples who can grow together and beat the 50% divorce rate. 

But I think as we move forward in time we will begin to see a new norm for marriages to occur in a person’s late 30’s to early 40’s. (I mean, we are having babies now in our 50’s, thanks to Janet Jackson.) By this age we are more mature and know what we want in life, it is a time when we have a grasp of our path and can confirm whether or not cohabitation with another person can truly exist for the rest of our lives.

You really don’t get things figured out until you’re in your 30’s, at least that has been my experience and for many others that I know. 

I consider life to be way too short to stay in an unhappy marriage, but I also believe in marriage and that it serves a purpose for all of us–when we are ready for it. I do not place negative judgment on two people who have decided to divorce. I more or less think proudly of them for figuring it out and now they can begin to figure themselves out. However, if the divorce is due to cheating, it isn’t my place to judge, but 100% of my empathy will go out to the person who remained faithful.

Everyone should respect marriage.

It’s a symbol of formally recognizing that two souls have decided to become one on their journey together. It should be respected, period. No one deserves to be cheated on, nor should anyone think its okay to be a participant in the “act” with a married person. I always like to remind people that their actions are deeds and that you reap what you sow. If you ever find yourself in contemplation of this, ask yourself if you could really be okay with looking at yourself in the mirror and justifying all the lies and deceit that extends from you ruining a marriage. If yes, then your ego is in control, and when setbacks and bumps in the road start to occur, remember that is what you have sowed for yourself. (Okay, rant is over.)

Point being, is that the act of actually being ready for marriage is what weighs heavy on young adults in today’s society. And who can blame them with a statistic of a 50/50 chance of it working out? Which is why progressive relationships where two people do not invest 100% of their time in each other immediately have come into play more so than traditional ones.

Let me be clear-there is literally no right or wrong to relationships as long as you are happy.

But it is important to take your time and figure out what truly makes you happy and to explore your world and the opportunities that life presents to you without holding back, which is what a progressive partner, who truly loves you, would say.  

Until next time. Always be kind.

Erica xx

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